Watching your child play sport can be incredibly rewarding. You see the effort, the excitement, the friendships and the progress. But alongside those positives come something every sporting parent eventually experiences: emotional ups and downs.

One week your child might feel unstoppable after a great match or breakthrough training session. The next, they might leave the court frustrated, discouraged or questioning their ability.

These emotional swings are completely normal in sport — especially in fast, competitive racket sports like squash, padel, pickleball and badminton. Learning how to support your child through them is one of the most valuable things you can do as a parent.

This guide will help you understand why emotional fluctuations happen, how to respond constructively, and how to help your child build resilience that lasts far beyond the court.

For more performance insights and player development resources, visit the OLIVER blog hub:
👉 https://oliversquash.co.uk/blog/

Why Emotional Ups and Downs Happen in Sport

Sport places young athletes in situations that test both physical and emotional capacity. Matches involve pressure, competition, mistakes and expectations — all within a highly visible environment.

For developing players, emotions can fluctuate due to:

• competitive pressure
• comparison with peers
• disappointment after losses
• excitement after improvement
• fatigue or overtraining
• self-confidence challenges

In racket sports especially, where players often compete individually, young athletes can feel that results are entirely their responsibility.

The key is helping them experience those emotions without being overwhelmed by them.

If you're interested in the psychology side of performance, explore more articles in our Mental Tips section:
👉 https://oliversquash.co.uk/category/mental-tips/

1. Normalize Emotional Highs and Lows

Children often believe that strong emotions mean something is wrong. In reality, emotional responses are a natural part of competition.

Help your child understand that:

• excitement after a win is normal
• frustration after a loss is normal
• nerves before competition are normal

What matters is how they respond, not whether those emotions appear.

By normalising these feelings, you remove the fear that something is “wrong” with them.

2. Focus on Effort, Not Just Results

One of the biggest contributors to emotional swings is focusing too heavily on results.

Instead of asking:

❌ “Did you win?”

Try asking:

✔ “What did you learn today?”
✔ “What part of your game improved?”
✔ “What are you proud of from that match?”

When effort becomes the focus, confidence becomes more stable and less dependent on outcomes.

3. Give Space Before Conversations

Immediately after a match — especially a tough one — emotions can be high. This is rarely the best moment for analysis.

Instead:

• allow time to cool down
• let your child process their feelings
• discuss the match later when emotions have settled

This simple pause helps conversations stay constructive rather than reactive.

4. Help Your Child Develop Perspective

Young athletes sometimes see losses or mistakes as catastrophic. Parents can help reframe those moments.

Encourage perspective by reminding them that:

• every athlete loses matches
• improvement takes time
• setbacks are part of development
• one performance doesn’t define their ability

This mindset builds long-term confidence rather than fragile short-term confidence.

5. Encourage Emotional Awareness

Rather than trying to eliminate emotions, help your child recognise and understand them.

Ask questions like:

• “What part of that match frustrated you most?”
• “What did you feel when you made that mistake?”
• “What helped you regain focus?”

This helps children build emotional intelligence — a critical skill for sport and life.

6. Support Recovery After Tough Days

After difficult matches or training sessions, recovery should include both physical and emotional elements.

Positive recovery habits include:

• light movement or stretching
• talking through the experience calmly
• focusing on the next opportunity to improve
• doing something enjoyable outside sport

The goal is to move forward rather than dwell on disappointment.

7. Celebrate Progress — Not Perfection

Perfectionism is a common challenge in young athletes. Players often feel they must perform flawlessly to feel proud.

Parents can counter this by celebrating:

• effort
• improvement
• resilience
• consistency

Progress builds confidence far more sustainably than chasing perfection.

8. Encourage Ownership of the Journey

Young athletes thrive when they feel ownership over their development.

Ask questions that invite reflection:

• “What would you like to improve next?”
• “What goal should we set for this week?”
• “What part of training are you enjoying most right now?”

When children feel involved in their own progress, emotional swings become easier to manage.

9. Work With Coaches, Not Against Them

Parents and coaches share the same goal: helping the athlete grow.

If emotional struggles persist, speaking with a coach can provide valuable insight into:

• training balance
• confidence levels
• competitive readiness
• areas for encouragement

Our Coaching Corner section contains more insight into player development:
👉 https://oliversquash.co.uk/category/coaching-corner/

10. Remember Why They Started

When emotions run high, it’s helpful to reconnect with the reason your child began playing sport in the first place.

Most children start because of:

• enjoyment
• friendships
• movement
• curiosity

Keeping those reasons alive helps maintain a healthy relationship with sport.

Final Thought

Emotional ups and downs are part of every athlete’s journey. Learning to navigate them with patience, perspective and resilience is one of the most valuable lessons sport can teach.

As a parent, your role isn’t to remove those challenges — it’s to help your child understand them, learn from them and grow through them.

With the right support, emotional highs build confidence and emotional lows build resilience. Together, they form the foundation of a strong, confident athlete.

For more advice on player development, training and mindset, explore the OLIVER resources:

👉 https://oliversquash.co.uk/blog/
👉 https://oliversquash.co.uk/category/mental-tips/
👉 https://oliversquash.co.uk/category/coaching-corner/